dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
