Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize