He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i think i just lost a toe
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
