I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
