oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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