Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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