Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
