is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
