Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
