ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Farmville is her only friend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
