I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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