What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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