im drinking this country out of the recession.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize