You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Randomize
