my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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