can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
