At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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