Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
