shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
