If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
