Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
