i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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