Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We are all done wearing pants today
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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