I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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