The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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