He is an equal opportunity slut.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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