Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
