weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
