i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
