a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
