he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
