I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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