are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
