someone threw a dead crab at me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
