You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
