1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
