there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
