And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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