make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
