Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
