we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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