That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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