He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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