Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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