Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
