i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize