i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
