I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
