the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
