I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
