I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
