Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
