K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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