the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I party with great urgency now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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