bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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