Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we're making bets on your personal life
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
