Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dick very happy bro
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize