no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
