I hate your face
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
