on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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