I hope mine doesn't look like that
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
