I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
