Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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