I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
