I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
