I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
