you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
