Small penises have feelings too.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize