dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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