Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Operation Purity has been aborted
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
