i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
