I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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