you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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