You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize